Today, I am feeling a little down, not knowing what the Ol' Man is doing and why he hasn't replied. Yesterday's 'Two of Cups' didn't see a 'Two of Cups' moment, unless it meant I was to start missing him that night, which I did. Or that he will make contact, despite my feeling that he won't.
Today I asked "What do I need to know today?" and using the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight (because it too is a little sad, but not the wisest of choices considering my mood) I pulled the 'Ten of Swords', the 'Nine of Cups' and the 'Knight of Pentacles.
Tarot of The Sweet Twilight
Well, miserable mood, miserable cards! The 'Ten of Swords' means that I am no longer assertive about maintaining my side of the argument with the Ol' Man, I now feel sorry for myself and think "f**k it". I am not going to pursue him. I can't be bothered with him, depicted by the girl looking at grounded Swords that encircle the tomb of victim mentality. But, my heart says that I am bothered, like the girl holds her pink roses, a symbol of of the heart. However, her red wings show that her spirit is caught between the two extremes. Perhaps I have it wrong. Perhaps I should cling on to my emotional roses rather than concentrating on my f**k you thoughts!
The 'Nine of Cups' is one up from the 'Eight of Cups' from my two previous readings and signal that there is always hope, even when your heart has that sunken feeling but, I have to drag myself back up and out from the depths of the water to reach it.
The 'Knight of Swords' shows a person who is outright, opinionated righteous and at verbal and intellectual war. (I have made the mistake of not applying Court cards to other people first). Am I going to get in a war of words today? Is there going to be a stand off?
My little LWB says for the Sweet Twilight 'Knight of Swords'.. "It always seems that behind any great quest, there is someone left behind. Ironically, it is often the person who inspired the quest. Which one pays the greater price?"
Perhaps the Ol' Man will return and apologise for starting the argument. He inspired the 'Quest', and since I wasn't going to let him an unjustified win, he would be left behind and left to apologise. On the other hand, perhaps he wills stick to his quest and ignore me, but also leaving me behind in the process. However you look at it, this card says despite pursuing what you think is 'right', you will in fact still lose out in some other way.
So! I have worked out that although I don't like him, my heart still does (Ten of Swords). That there is a way to feel happy again if I make a real effort to do it (Nine of Cups) and is this argument really worth any loss that might occur as a result? (Knight of Swords).
If this reading relates to the Ol' Man and I, there is an inkling of hope that he will get in contact but he will still be upholding his grudge and so will I. Unless I take note of the advice within the cards.
And if this doesn't relate to the Ol' Man and I, well, er.....I feel miserable in my thought and my heart and that I should make an effort to be assertive and to hold my own. Or I am being warned of another person imposing their will upon me today.
UPDATE 19/01/2010
Well, nothing happened yesterday. Just my usual routine with the children, me feeling a bit miserable and some Tarot insights into how I am feeling.
UPDATE 19/01/2010
Well, nothing happened yesterday. Just my usual routine with the children, me feeling a bit miserable and some Tarot insights into how I am feeling.
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