Head in The Clouds, Feet On The Ground!

The Ol' Man came over last night and then went home, we didn't talk about us at all. Which was fine by me. He's coming over in a bit and I'm sure we'll set things over the course of the day. He's a typical unbalanced Pisces male which doesn't really go hand in hand with a Virgo girl who like everything in hand and sorted. Hopefully the Taurus moon will get his emotions back into the earthly realm of stability so we can sort things out. Although I will still be maintaining my space so I don't let myself get dragged into his moody forcefield! However Saturn and Pluto are doing their best to f**k everything up!

Anyhoo, using the Paulina Tarot and asking "What do I need to know today?" I drew, the 'Knight of Cups', 'Queen of Cups' and the 'Seven of Pentacles' (seen yesterday).

Paulina Tarot

© US Games Inc.

The cards look like we have two emotional people coming together, one 'all over the place' and one dreamy! The 'Knight of Cups' can be a moody person so I'll say thats the Ol' Man and the 'Queen of Cups' is me, a girl who is looking after her own emotional needs and one who is tune with the needs of others. I just said I didn't want to be dragged into his moody forcefield but if I behave like the 'Queen of Cups', I am going to do just that and might just pander to his mood!

At least there is one earthly card of stability, which tells me that either and/or both of us will be trying to work out where we both stand. As advice the 'Seven of Pentacles' might be telling me to remain focused on standing my ground,  rather than letting my feelings run away with me.

Water (Cups) and Earth (Pentacles) cards are complementary elements so hopefully things will go smoothly between us.

Illustrations from the 'Paulina Tarot' reproduced with permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyright © 2008 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

Beware Adventurous Knights on a Mission!

It's a miserable, wet raining day. So I thought I would use the 'Tarot of a Thousand and One Nights' to dry out and warm up the day! Asking "What do I need to know?", I drew the 'Ace of Swords', the 'Knight of Wands' and the 'Seven of Pentacles'.

Tarot of a Thousand and One Nights

© Lo Scarabeo

The 'Ace of Swords' indicates a new conquest, a new adventure. But why? I think to myself,  I have no reason for one at the moment. Except perhaps, that this is quest for a new free me! I have come to the realisation n previous reading, that I need a more balanced relationship that allows me to be me rather than a person who worries about him all time. And to do this will require assertiveness on my part, the realm of the Sword!

The 'Knight of Wands' is normally an outgoing person and self assured person but the guy on his donkey in the picture looks like he's in it for the long haul. Looks like I'll have to be careful to not get too cocky and selfish on my long journey to establish my ground huh! Oops, I nearly forgot, a Court card normally represents another person so....hmmm,  does somebody need my help? (the guy on the donkey is coming towards me) somebody who is a self assured and active kinda of person? Don't think that's the Ol' Man's style! Now I am getting a feeling of a visit. Perhaps my Mother is going to turn up to get the library books back I should have given back ages ago!  Or one of my teenage Brothers are going to turn up. Perhaps the 'Knight of Wands' reresents my little 1yr old fella who taking my house apart, fishing in the loo, taking all the clothes out the drawers! He is on an assertive quest, just like the 'Ace of Swords' which has led me....

To reassess my home (Seven of Pentacles) to make it safer! I've just moved the stair gate in between writing this post (I'm in a flat no stairs) so that my little fella can't get to the bedrooms and bathroom!

If I move back to my freedom quest, the 'Seven of Pentacles' may mean that I am going to have to reassess my home life without the Ol' Man and his contributions to the household, which I have already done. I even managed to donate £10 to Haiti today. Like the good Virgo I am, I am very organised on that front. Perhaps I will need to keep a watch on it in case some Knight on a mission wants to ruin it!

So although I find the cards are most likely to be telling me to baby safe my home from 1yr 'Knight on a Quest, there may be a visit from someone who need something from me, and may bugger up my precious budget and plans! Oh Goddess! I hope they don't come right now, my house is a mess!

Thought I would add the quintessential card, which would be 1+7=8 Strength again! I got this card yesterday which speaks of letting the real 'inner you' come out rather than repressing it to fit in with the world. So perhaps this reading does relate to the Ol' Man again. Perhaps he will come home this weekend, but only if he tries to be more outgoing like the 'Knight of Wands' and not some worldly martyr. I am still going to stand my own ground and keep to my 'Quest', and to do that I will have to keep a firm eye on the things I value (Seven of Pentacles).

The Synchronistic Sign of Alanis Morrisette

The Ol' Man sent me a text yesterday obviously feeling sorry for himself. He came over and put the children to bed, before going home again. He didn't have much to say and I didn't have anything to say to him. It seems my previous readings from which I have interpreted the feelings of the Ol' Man and have been correct. We have both feeling sorry for ourselves and yet wanting to drive our points home. I have been enjoying freedom from not 'feeling' the Ol' Man all the time too. I am sure that I empathise with him to much and it's very draining. Feeling another persons doubts, worries and melancholy attitude to life,  doesn't help loving them either.

Anyway, today I am tidying up and then participating in my older boys school activity this afternoon, making clay pots!

Hanson-Roberts Tarot

© US Games Systems Inc

Using the Hanson-Roberts Tarot and asking "What do I need to know about today?" I drew the 'Ten of Swords', 'Nine of Swords and the 'Seven of Cups'. I am not sure if the deck has had its first shuffle, if it hadn't, the shuffle I performed would not have created an even mixed deck of cards.  I used the cards anyway, knowing that all actions (shuffled or not) lead to the correct fall of the cards.

The 'Ten of Swords' says I have no interest in taking the Swords that he created from my back. He never makes an effort to apologise or discuss the problem. He thinks looking soppy and wounded will get me to 'make it all better' for him. Well not this time!

The 'Nine of Swords' speaks of guilt and anguish as a result of something I have done or, relates to how I feel about the Ol' Man.

The 'Seven of Cups' is about choices of the heart "Do I want him back to suffer all the worry and grief of the 'Nine of Swords' that I feel when he's around? Do I love him?". I do want him back and I do love him but I don't want to feel like the 'Ten of Swords', picking up on his melancholy attitude. If I am empathic, its a burden and ruining my relationship. Perhaps I need to get on with making a heartfelt decision,  as using my head is making me as prone as the ' Ten of Swords'.

In short, I am not ready to get over this argument between the Ol' Man and I (Ten of Swords).  But I am stuck with the worry (Nine of Swords) of how to move forward in our relationship. Do I want him back? Do I want freedom from worry? (Seven of Cups). My heart is definitely looking for new possibilities right now because having a relationship where I can love and be free seems impossible.

Hanson-Roberts Tarot

© US Games Systems Inc

It's funny, I picked out these cards thinking that I hadn't shuffled the deck properly, the card look senseless and yet they are so accurate! Although they merely seem to make me aware of my feelings and problems that are confronting me today....  Thinking of what the cards mean whilst listening to Alanis Morrisette, I just became aware of the lyrics....

You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry
No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor
No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for

'Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you

You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
You sit... and you wait... to receive
There's an obvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistence
could make you try tonight

'Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you to you to you to you to you...
There's no love no money no thrill anymore

There's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy
With his head in his hands
There's an underestimated and impatient little girl
Raising her hand

But it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you, to you

get up get up get up off of it
get up get up get up off of it
get out get outta here enough already
get up get up get up off of it 

All the my feelings and insights gained from this weeks readings are summed up in those words.

There have been lot of 'Swords' and 'Cups' in my readings lately, signifying a battle between mind and heart.

The quintessential card is 10+9+7=26. I reduce 26 by adding 2+6 which is 8, 'Strength' who symbolises the real inner you being released carefully into reality. I have become aware of being repressed by my relationship - I haven't been me, but being the person the Ol' Man wants me to be. I must find a way of getting back to me.  Whether our relationship can continue as a result I do not know.

Also, the 'Seven of Cups'- with the various symbols popping out of the cups reminds me of clay pot making with my Son later on!

Phew! Thats enough insight for thought today!

Back To Nature For Refreshment and Meditation

Still no word from the Ol' Man and just my usual routine today. The little one and I have been out for a walk with the dog and after letting the gentle flow of the river let me slip into relaxation I've come home to do my daily reading. I asked "What does Tarot want to tell me?" and using the 'Tarot of Prague' I pulled the 'Ace of Pentacles', 'Page of Cups' and the 'Two of Swords'.

Tarot of Prague

© Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov

The 'Ace of Pentacles', a card of luck, lets me think of nature and our walk today. We have been out before, but today felt like the first (Ace) enjoyable walk after the snowfall. In fact, the stairs in the 'Ace of Pentacles' card reminds me of the secret tunnel with stairs at the back that leads from the forest to the local church. I've also has some luck with money so there is indeed 'money in the hand'. I am also in soul control of my affairs, without the Ol' Man around and that feels good too.

Another Court card appears, this time the 'Page of Cups', who reminds of my time looking upon the river and letting my 'troubles wash away'. That all the thought I have on him right now and think that is all thats needed. Except that I may get a message today.

The 'Two of Swords' is me stuck in limbo of sorts wondering what to Ol' Man is up to and not knowing the future of us. Its a stale-mate really. If he were to ring up, I wouldn't care much and would be standoffish and yet I still wonder why he hasn't called!

Alternately, a new opportunity may come up (Ace of Pentacles) which will need me to reflect on it (Page of Cups), and may require some sort of compromise on my part (Two of Swords).

Another alternative, the Ol' Man will ring up (Page of Cups), we'll call a truce (Two of Swords) and start again (Ace of Pentacles).

What I really think these cards reflect, is my time out in the forest, away from it all, in body (Ace of Pentacles), mind (Two of Swords) and Spirit (Page of Cups)!

UPDATE 20/01/2010
Well 't was as I said it would be. Although, radio host, Robin Banks, twittered me to ask where I lived, apparently thinking of 'getting me on the Radio. So it was a new opportunity (Ace of Pentacles and it did get me daydreaming about being on a Radio show (Page of Cups). The reality of being on a Radio show frightened me and I became stuck between wanting to do it and being scared (Two of Swords). I did realise, after some time daydreaming, that I could do it if I really wanted to and maybe I will, one day.  Although I wasn't too sure whether he meant it, or if he was plugging his Radio training sessions.

The lady in the 'Two of Swords' could be a good radio symbol. Her two swords being antenna and her hoodwinked figure, being communication without seeing.

UPDATE 20/01/2010 14:29
So I asked Mr Banks if he were serious and he said...

@TarotGirlUK no... wasn't trying to get you on a session!! hahaha seriouisly wanted to get you on air... if you're any good ;)
So, there you go!

What Will Be Lost As A Result of 'Winning'?

Today,  I am feeling a little down, not knowing what the Ol' Man is doing and why he hasn't replied. Yesterday's 'Two of Cups' didn't see a 'Two of Cups' moment, unless it meant I was to start missing him that night, which I did. Or that he will make contact, despite my feeling that he won't.

Today I asked "What do I need to know today?" and using the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight (because it too is a little sad, but not the wisest of choices considering my mood) I pulled the 'Ten of Swords', the 'Nine of Cups' and the 'Knight of Pentacles.

Tarot of The Sweet Twilight

© Lo Scarabeo

Well, miserable mood, miserable cards! The 'Ten of Swords' means that I am no longer assertive about maintaining my side of the argument with the Ol' Man, I now feel sorry for myself and think "f**k it". I am not going to pursue him. I can't be bothered with him, depicted by the girl looking at grounded Swords that encircle the tomb of victim mentality. But, my heart says that I am bothered, like the girl holds her pink roses, a symbol of of the heart. However, her red wings show that her spirit is caught between the two extremes. Perhaps I have it wrong. Perhaps I should cling on to my emotional roses rather than concentrating on my f**k you thoughts!

The 'Nine of Cups' is one up from the 'Eight of Cups' from my two previous readings and signal that there is always hope, even when your heart has that sunken feeling but, I have to drag myself back up and out from the depths of the water to reach it.

The 'Knight of Swords' shows a person who is outright, opinionated righteous and at verbal and intellectual war. (I have made the mistake of not applying Court cards to other people first). Am I going to get in a war of words today? Is there going to be a stand off?

My little LWB says for the Sweet Twilight 'Knight of Swords'.. "It always seems that behind any great quest, there is someone left behind. Ironically, it is often the person who inspired the quest. Which one pays the greater price?"

Tarot of The Sweet Twilight

© Lo Scarabeo

Perhaps the Ol' Man will return and apologise for starting the argument. He inspired the 'Quest', and since I wasn't going to let him an unjustified win, he would be left behind and left to apologise. On the other hand, perhaps he wills stick to his quest and ignore me, but also leaving me behind in the process. However you look at it, this card says despite pursuing what you think is 'right', you will in fact still lose out in some other way.

So! I have worked out that although I don't like him, my heart still does (Ten of Swords). That there is a way to feel happy again if I make a real effort to do it (Nine of Cups) and is this argument really worth any loss that might occur as a result? (Knight of Swords).

If this reading relates to the Ol' Man and I, there is an inkling of hope that he will get in contact but he will still be upholding his grudge and so will I. Unless I take note of the advice within the cards.

And if this doesn't relate to the Ol' Man and I, well, er.....I feel miserable in my thought and my heart and that I should make an effort to be assertive and to hold my own. Or I am being warned of another person imposing their will upon me today.

UPDATE 19/01/2010
Well, nothing happened yesterday. Just my usual routine with the children, me feeling a bit miserable and some Tarot insights into how I am feeling.

'Death' and a Poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson'

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.


~Alfred Lord Tennyson
Memoriam:27, 1850:

An Empty Day With a Finishing Touch?

Yesterday I sent a text message to the Ol' Man asking him to come around but didn't get a reply. It looks like the Court card at the beginning of the yesterday's reading, specifically meant that the Ol' Man had walked away from the argument!

Today's reading asks "What do I need to know today?" and using the Sacred Rose Tarot I drew the 'Five of Pentacles', 'Eight of Cups' (second time in a row) and the 'Two of Cups'.

Sacred Rose Tarot

© US Games Systems Inc.

There aren't any Court cards in this reading, so no implication of the Ol' Man. The 'Five of Pentacles' traditionally means poverty of physical wealth and possessions, I don't think I am that skint! The man in the picture approaches a flower bursting with coins - perhaps my riches lie today in nature. I am planning on taking the children to the park, the snow has melted and the sun shines giving me a happy, sparkling spirit feeling inside.

The 'Eight of Cups' appeared yesterday and, if tied in with yesterdays reading and today's 'Two of Cups', indicates that the Ol' Man and I's separation will end. Or, that the Ol' Man isn't coming back and I'll meet someone new! That seems unlikely, but then I must read the cards without taking into consideration what I think will or won't happen.

Both the 'Five of Pentacles' and the 'Eight of Cups' traditionally seem to indicate an emptiness. With the Ol' Man gone things do feel a little lonely for me, but at the same time has created some breathing space and time off from worrying about him - like the lady of the 'Eight of Cups' who pushes her feelings away into the sea. But, in that breathing space I have found some poetry that has filled me with new feeling and vision, feeling and vision that money cannot buy, like the coin flower in the 'Five of Pentacles' and feeling show by the overflowing cups in the 'Two of Cups'.

Perhaps the first two cards show a bad trip to the park. Perhaps my young dog will be a pain in the ass again and sibling rivalry will make me want to go back home! The 'Two of Cups' makes the day look like it will end a good note. Perhaps a reunion with the Ol' Man, or perhaps another heartfelt evening with poetry!

The quintessential card will be 5+8+2=15 'The Devil'! If there is a reunion with the Ol' Man it means going back to the old ways of feeling cramped and guilty - that I should be pandering to the Ol' Man.  I don't think its his fault, I think its a deep ingrained instinct that a women cannot be happy unless everyone else is. The 'Two of Cups', a lesser form of 'The Lovers' shows that choosing to be with one love (the Ol' Man) results in the loss of another (emotional freedom).

UPDATE 18/01/2010 09:42
Well, it was a pretty empty day. The dog was a pain the ass (I think she's got PMT!) and the children had to wind each other up, the rain set in and we all went home. There wasn't really a 'Two of Cups' moment, although I did start to miss the Ol 'Man a tiny bit. I always think that his disappearance is the end of the line. I mean to ignore your Mrs isn't a good sign for a good relationship, which is why I won't bother too pursue him, dignity or stubbornness, I don't know. Perhaps the 'Two of Cups' is telling me that we will sort it out, and 'The Devil' says it will be back to the old ways, where the prospect of a repeat disappearance is likely.

Illustrations from the 'Sacred Rose Tarot' reproduced with permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyright © 1982 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.